Anthony Howard: The Boy Next Door Who Left a Lasting Legacy
Pamela Howard was out of town visiting family in New York when she got the call no parent ever wants to get. Her youngest son, Anthony, who was 26 years old, was found unresponsive in their home in the middle of the night. Her neighbor tried to resuscitate him but was unsuccessful. Pam and her husband rushed to the hospital in Maryland in hopes it wasn’t too late.
Doctors did everything they could to save Anthony’s life. After 10 days in the hospital, Anthony was declared brain dead by a hospital physician. Pam and her family were devastated as they were praying for a miracle. After the death declaration, an Infinite Legacy family services coordinator met with Pam to discuss the opportunity for Anthony to be an organ, eye and tissue donor.
At that time, Pam was not interested in Anthony being a donor. She remembers the Infinite Legacy representative respectfully walking away and honoring her decision. But then a strong feeling came over her, and she felt Anthony’s spirit say, “No, Ma, I want to help.” Pam immediately had a change of heart and knew Anthony would have wanted to give the gift of life. Helping others was a part of who he was. So, she gave Infinite Legacy permission to proceed with the donation process. On September 10, 2018, Anthony donated his heart, liver, pancreas, kidneys and tissues, saving and healing many lives.
Giving Others the Gift of Life: Pam Connects with Anthony’s Recipients
As an organ and tissue donor hero, Anthony’s legacy of compassion and generosity lives on. A month after Anthony’s death, Pam wrote letters to all his organ recipients. She wanted them to know more about Anthony and his “heart of gold.” Pam heard back from all of Anthony’s recipients and learned that Anthony’s pancreas recipient can now play outside with his son every day, something he couldn’t do before his transplant. In addition, Anthony’s kidney recipient expressed gratitude for her gift of life. While on dialysis, she attended college classes virtually. After her transplant, she was able to attend classes in person. Pam also grew a close bond with Anthony’s heart recipient, Dean. On August 6, 2019, Pam and Dean met in person at the Infinite Legacy office in Falls Church, VA. Pam remembers feeling nervous because they were both different races, and she worried how Dean may feel learning his heart came from a young African American man. However, as soon as Pam saw Dean, something clicked. Dean was thankful and understood how special Anthony was. Since receiving his new heart, Dean has attended his daughters’ weddings and is now a grandfather. He even calls Pam every year to wish her a happy Mother’s Day, on behalf of both him and Anthony. Anthony’s generous gifts forever changed the lives of his recipients.
Navigating Grief and Starting the A-Sicka Heals Foundation (ASHF)
Pam remembers being overwhelmed with grief when she first lost Anthony. She relied on her friends, family and faith for support. Pam also struggled with the mysterious cause of Anthony’s death. Over time, she felt God begin to heal her and give her strength.
“When my son died, a part of me died. I thought I would die from a broken heart. Losing Anthony was like losing a chunk of myself. He was my baby.” – Pam
In 2019, Pam founded the A-Sicka Heals Foundation (ASHF) in Anthony’s memory. This nonprofit organization is dedicated to raising mental health awareness for young adults and children to prevent substance abuse. Creating this foundation helped keep Pam busy and gave her a chance to use Anthony’s legacy to inspire others.
She also started creating fitness videos on social media to encourage others in grief to get moving. Pam says, “It takes strength to work through sadness and remove yourself from a dark place. Putting one step in front of the other is the first step to moving forward.”
Some days, Anthony is all Pam can think about. When this happens, she likes to focus on knowing the lifesaving impact Anthony had on his recipients. Anthony was able to keep families together and give his recipients opportunities they otherwise would not have had.
Debunking Organ Donation Myths and Becoming a Donate Life Ambassador
Growing up, Pam’s family never discussed organ donation and end-of-life wishes. At one point, she even believed some of the common myths and misconceptions about donation. It wasn’t until her experience with Anthony that she learned the truth. In 2019, Pam became a Donate Life Ambassador with Infinite Legacy to educate the public about the importance of organ, eye and tissue donation by sharing Anthony’s legacy. Pam loved volunteering and wanted others to learn from her experience. Recently, Pam was a guest on The Hope Cast, a podcast by Infinite Legacy to share Anthony’s story and inspire others.
Say “Yes” to Donation: Be a Donor Hero Like Anthony
Pam honors Anthony’s memory every day by wearing a necklace with his picture close to her heart. Despite her sadness, Pam is strong in her faith and encourages others to register as organ, eye and tissue donors and say “yes” to donation. Be a donor hero like Anthony! by Infinite Legacy to share Anthony’s story and inspire others.